Girls Night #84: Steph & Carl's Best Answers to Your Biggest Relationship Questions

IN THIS PODCAST EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

How to build a great foundation in your single and dating life to prepare for marriage
Answers to your biggest relationship questions
How to set healthy boundaries in your relationship (including sexual boundaries)
Why community and having people on your team is so important

Listen on iTUNES

Listen on Spotify

listen on stitcher

(You can also listen right here!👇)

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night!

A few months ago, a wonderful group of y’all came together to help me get the word out about my new prayer journal, Every Single Moment. We had the best launch team. I’m so so grateful for their help! At the end of the launch, as a thank you, Carl and I hosted a special Facebook Live hangout where the launch team got to ask us any questions they had about singleness, dating, engagement, marriage, sex, boundaries, faith, friendship and more! Nothing was off limits.

It wasn’t quite a girls night, or I guess it was, it was just a girls night + Carl. But either way, I loved it.

Here are just a few of the questions we got to answer:

“What advice would you give someone who recently messed up sexually? How can I start forgiving myself for the mistakes I’ve made?”

“When you and Carl were dating, how did you enjoy the rest of your dating season when you knew marriage was on the table? I want to enjoy our dating season, but I’m itching for the next step.”

“How do you both make time to be your own person while still making time to pour into your marriage?”

They asked such good questions — questions I know that so many of us have wrestled through. And I love the wisdom and insight Carl shared in response. He had such great advice, and that’s why I just knew we had to share this conversation at Girls Night.

My favorite part was when Carl compared guys to dinosaurs. So keep an ear out for that. I will never forget that analogy. It’s so good! I can’t wait for you to hear it.

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Steph & Carl's Best Answers to Your Biggest Relationship Questions

LINKS FROM THE SHOW

Steph’s book, The Lipstick Gospel (here’s a paperback copy and here’s a free digital download!)

Steph’s new prayer journal, Every Single Moment

Steph’s course, Love Your Single Life

If you’d prefer to skip right to a certain question (or come back to a question later), here are all of the questions asked during the episode with their timestamps:

6:04 - What is God teaching you right now?

9:30 - How do you try to create space for God?

13:16 - How do you both make time to be your own person while still making time to pour into your marriage?

22:02 - What advice would you give to someone who recently messed up sexually? How does one go about forgiving oneself for sexual sin?

29:30 - I always seem to attract the weirdest men. What do I need to correct about myself or in general to not attract these type of men anymore?

37:24 - When you and Carl were dating, how did you enjoy the rest of your dating season when you knew marriage was on the table?

44:22 - When was the moment (or moments) you realized you wanted to marry each other?

48:12 - Do you just have to like the person or do you have to like their family?

50:22 - I'm my boyfriend's first girlfriend. Is it a red flag that he hasn't dated other people? Should I be worried about it or is it just sweet?

52:18 - What's one thing or a few things that you're really glad you did to prepare for marriage? What did you wish you did differently (during singleness, dating or engagement)?

57:30 - Can men and women just be friends? Should I spend time hanging out with male friends?

1:02:43 - How much time and space do you give to a super introverted or shy guy? I want to ask him to coffee, but it took us a year and a half to converse easily. Is it wrong to assume that if he's interested he'll get there?

Podcast Episode Mentioned: Overcoming discouragement in the Pursuit of your Dreams

Quotes Mentioned:

"I'm realizing all over again how close God can really be to us" - Stephanie

"Community has always been a part of the plan" - Carl

"We don't have to do this alone and we're actually meant to do this together" - Carl

"We can invite God into everything" - Stephanie

"When you first start dating someone, it's consuming and intoxicating...but there is a time and a place for that" - Stephanie

"I think it's beautiful to kind of tumble into love" - Stephanie

"It feels like, especially with sexual stuff, it's like our brains our on one side and our bodies are on the other and it's really hard to get them to be on the same page" - Stephanie

"God doesn't award spouses based on our performance" - Stephanie

"We cannot mess things up beyond God's ability to repair or redeem" - Stephanie

"When we separate ourselves from God, we're so much closer to the lies and the things in our own head." - Carl

"Fighting the lies with the truth of what God really feels about you" - Carl

"We're not what we do and we're not what we don't do" - Stephanie

"I think who is attracted to us doesn't actually say that much about us. We all like different people for different reasons" - Stephanie

"Sometimes we really need to change the equation" - Stephanie

"Where you're building your foundation of who you are as a couple is as you're dating. And the more we can invest in each day, the more we're building up this great foundation" - Stephanie

"Your life doesn't have to be on hold until you get married" - Carl

"Knowing someones family helps you understand why they are the way that they are...but a person is not necessarily a carbon copy of their family" - Stephanie

"The healthier you can be as an individual, the healthier your marriage is" - Stephanie

"Am I building relationships that are going to last a really long time?" - Carl

"Until someone has asked you to save their seat...you don't save it for them" - Stephanie