Girls Night #33: Christian Dating Rules: What are They and are we Supposed to Follow Them?

We're chatting about Christian dating rules, what it means to be equally yoked, if it's okay to date online as a Christian and so much more!

IN THIS PODCAST EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

If Christians can date for fun or only date with the intention of marrying the person
If it’s okay to date online as a Christian
How God’s timing works in our relationships
If you should or shouldn’t date a non-Christian and what it means to be equally yoked.
How to find out if a guy you’re dating is a Christian without being pushy or weird about it
Whether or not the guy is supposed to be the spiritual leader and pursuer in the relationship and how that looks

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(You can also listen right here!👇)

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night!

In today’s episode we’re talking with one of my favorite friends here in Nashville, author Hanna Seymour. Hanna is the author of a new book that I just LOVE called The College Girl’s Survival Guide, and she’s also an incredible mentor, Bible teacher, and friend.

Now, if you’ve been around our Girls Night community for awhile, you might have a touch of deja vu right now. Yes, Hanna has been on the show before (twice actually!) and you’re about to get to know her a whole lot better, because this week and next week are a Hanna double-header.

We didn’t plan to do that, necessarily, but I’m not sorry about it one bit.

What happened is that Hanna and I sat down a few weeks ago to talk about Christian relationships. Specifically, I brought her a whole list of Christian Dating rules we’re all given, and together we talked through which ones ones are true, Biblical, real, important, and which ones we can totally throw out.

(By the way, this conversation would have been SO HELPFUL for me back when I was dating, and I have a feeling it will be for you too!)

But the thing is, as we sat down to talk through all of these dating rules, we got so wrapped up in the conversation, that an hour later, I looked up at the clock to realize we’d run out of time and only gotten through half of the questions.

And I thought about stopping there. I really did, but as I looked over the questions we hadn’t covered yet, I knew you guys would hate it if we stopped it there. So Hanna is going to be back on the show next week with part 2 of this conversation, and trust me, you’re not going to want to miss a second of it.

Today we’ll be talking more about the things leading up to a Christian relationship:

Things like:

- Can Christians date for fun? Or are we only supposed to date with the intention of marrying the person?

- Is it okay to online date, or is that not allowing God to be in charge?

- We talk so much about God’s timing and God’s plan for our lives, but what does that look like in relationships? Does God pick who we marry? How does this work?

- As a Christian, can you date a non-Christian? What does it mean to be equally yoked?

- How do you find out if a guy you’re dating is a Christian without being pushy or weird about it?

- We hear that the guy is supposed to be the spiritual leader, and also the pursuer of the relationship. Are those things true? And if so, what does that actually look like played out?

And y’all that’s just the beginning.

Then, next week, we’re answering some of the big questions we all ask once we’re in a relationship.

Questions like:

Is this guy the one? How do I know?

When is the right time to get married? How long do you have to date before you’re ready? And how do you know if you’re ready?

Can you/should you move in together before you get married?

Are you really supposed to wait until you get married to have sex?

How do you set realistic physical boundaries and actually stick to them? (And what do you do if you’ve already crossed them?)

What does it mean to guard your heart?

- What does it mean to “Keep Jesus at the center of your relationship?” and how do you do that?

And that’s just the beginning.

See? I told you we couldn’t just stop at part one!

You guys, Hanna is WISE, and wonderful, and hilarious. The advice she gives in these episodes is practical, and Biblical, and honest, and actually doable.

Plus, you’ll get to hear lots more from Hanna and I both about our own relationships and marriages. We’re going to talk about how we handled some of these big questions in our own relationships, we’ll talk about whether or not we had sex with our spouses before we got married, and that’s just the beginning.

I'm so excited for you to hear it.

PIN ME!

LINKS FROM THE SHOW:

Steph’s book, The Lipstick Gospel (here’s a paperback copy and here’s a free digital download!)

Hanna Seymour's book, The College Girl’s Survival Guide: 52 Honest, Faith-Filled Answers to Your Biggest Concerns

Hanna’s first Girls Night episode: A Married Gal’s Guide To Great Sex

Hanna's second Girls Night episode: The 20-Something Girl's Survival Guide

The podcast Hanna produces and co-hosts

Hanna's blog post on soulmates

Carl & Stephanie's Girls Night episode

Verses mentioned:

2 Corinthians 6:14

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

Ephesians 5:22

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."

Books mentioned in this episode:

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Hanna's mom's books on biblical submission:

Dancing With the One You Love: Living Out Submission in the Real World

What's Submission Got to Do With It?: Find Out From a Woman Like You