Featured Episode: How to Know if Someone is “Your Person” (and What that Even Means!)
IN THIS PODCAST EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:
How to know if the guy you’re dating is “the one” (and if “the one” is even a thing)
If it’s normal to feel anxious or scared about choosing your person
The qualities you need to see in the person you’re dating before you decide that they’re the one you want to marry
How long you and your significant other should date before getting married (based on Debra’s research)
What to do if you’ve been dating someone for years and you’re still not sure if you should marry them
How to follow God’s lead, but also take the initiative, that’s yours to take, on choosing a spouse
(You can also listen right here!👇)
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night!
At the moment we’re in between seasons here on the show. But while we’re waiting for our next official season to begin, we thought this would be a great time to pull some of our favorite episodes out of the Girls Night archive. This is the perfect time to catch up on episodes you might have missed, or listen again to old favorites.
Today I’m chatting with my friend, Debra Fileta!
Debra is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of a new book called, Love in Every Season. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. I can’t wait for you to hear from her!
Especially because today we’re talking about a subject that is very near and dear to my heart.
Today we’re talking about how to know if you’ve found “the one.”
The reason I’m so excited about this episode is because this is a question I MAJORLY wrestled with when Carl and I were dating. This is also a question I get asked all the time by our Girls Night listeners.
You're dating a guy, things are going well, but how do you know when things are going well enough for you to actually get married? How do you know if he’s “the one?”
For me personally, this was one of the most stressful, anxiety-ridden questions I’ve ever asked in my life. I know that’s not everybody’s story, but it was mine, and I know I’m not alone.
So in this episode I ask Debra all of the questions I wish I could have asked back when Carl and I were dating — and I’m hoping that this episode brings some peace and clarity to anyone who really needs it right now.
PIN ME!
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Steph’s book, The Lipstick Gospel (here’s a paperback copy and here’s a free digital download!)
Steph’s prayer journals, Every Single Moment and The Between Places
Deb’s book, Love in Every Season
Four Seasons of a Relationship:
Spring - the time where attraction blossoms, it’s new and exciting
Summer - things get hot, you shed your layers
Fall - true colors start to shine through, two different ways of processing, two experiences, season of conflict
Winter - cool off a little, not fogged by spring, season of comfort & familiarity
2 Things to address when you feel anxiety:
Does this anxiety reflect a problem in the relationship?
Does this relationship reflect a problem in me?
Deb’s thoughts for how long to date before married:
If you've been with somebody for less than 1 year, you have a higher likelihood of divorce.
If you've been with someone for more than 3 years, you also have a higher likelihood of divorce.
Scripture Mentioned:
James 1:5
Quotes Mentioned:
"The moment you say "I do" you have chosen the one" - Deb
"Conflict is not a bad thing depending on how you navigate it" - Deb
"Doubt can actually be a good thing because it makes us ask some questions" - Steph
"Attraction is essentially your desire to move toward somebody " - Deb
"If you want to attract a healthy relationship, you start by becoming healthy" - Deb
"Attraction has layers" - Deb
"Your thoughts impact your feelings, which impact your behaviors" - Deb
"Recognizing God's voice starts with recognizing God's voice in every area of our lives" - Deb
"Become as healthy as you can be standing alone" - Deb
"Don't be afraid to have a active role in your relationship" - Deb
CONNECT WITH DEBRA
Facebook // Website // Instagram
CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE
Facebook // Bookstore // Instagram
WE LOVE OUR SPONSORS!
Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson is sponsored by BetterHelp. Find more balance, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRIENDSHIP today to get 10% off your first month.
Our second sponsor for today’s episode is Brilliant Earth. Check out all of their beautiful pieces at brilliantearth.com.
Our third sponsor for today’s episode is Green Chef. Go to GreenChef.com/girlsnight50 and use code girlsnight50 to get 50% off plus free shipping.