Girls Night #162: If Sex is a Struggle in your Marriage, This Episode is for you.

IN THIS PODCAST EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

How often you should be having sex
Libido differences: What to do if one person wants to have sex more than the other
What to do if sex is painful, uncomfortable, or honestly just not that good
What to do if shame is keeping you from being able to feel free in your sex life
How to undo some of the harmful messages that have had a negative impact on your view of sex
What to do if your spouse struggles with porn

Listen on iTUNES

Listen on Spotify

watch on youtube

(You can also listen right here!👇)

(Or watch the interview right here!👇)

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls Night!

We know that sex is an important part of marriage, but because it’s such a personal, intimate thing, it’s often the area of marriage where we have the least amount of help, guidance, and support.

If sex is uncomfortable, or if it hurts, or if it’s just not as good as you thought it would be — or if you find yourself wanting to have sex more often or less often than your partner and it’s causing some tension between you — or if one of you is struggling with porn, or if you’re just not feeling as connected or free in your intimacy as you want to feel — we don’t necessarily know where to turn for help.

And while there are some books and resources available to us — a lot of the advice out there about sex and intimacy just honestly isn’t that good. Sometimes it’s not just unhelpful, it’s actually damaging.

A lot of us are suffering as a result of the bad advice we’ve been given in the past, sometimes without even realizing it.

All of that is exactly why I’m so excited about today’s episode. Our guest this week is author and sex expert, Sheila Gregoire. Sheila has written several books, but two of my favorites are The Great Sex Rescue, and The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex.

These are incredible resources. Sheila has helped so many couples grow in their connection, passion, and intimacy, and that's why I’m so excited for you to get to hear from her.

In this episode she’s talking to us about:

How often we should be having sex
Libido differences: What to do if one person wants to have sex more than the other
What to do if sex is painful, uncomfortable, or honestly just not that good
What to do if shame is keeping us from being able to feel free in our sex lives
How to undo some of the harmful messages that have had a negative impact on our view of sex
What to do if your spouse struggles with porn
And so much more

Friend, if you’re struggling — with literally anything — in your sex life, you are SO not alone. And you also don’t have to walk through this alone either.

PIN ME!

LINKS FROM THE SHOW

Steph’s book, The Lipstick Gospel (here’s a paperback copy and here’s a free digital download!)

Steph’s prayer journals, Every Single Moment and The Between Places

Sheila’s books:

The Great Sex Rescue

The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex

Sheila’s podcast: The Bare Marriage Podcast

3 point plan:

Work on feeling comfortable

Work on getting her aroused

Work on intercourse

Phases:

Excitement

2. Arousal

3. Plateau

4. Orgasm

Quotes mentioned:

"Libido is not a problem, libido is a symptom" - Sheila

"We measured 22.6% of women (in the church) experience sexual pain. That's very high compared to the general population." - Sheila

"A healthy sex life, which is mutually intimate and pleasurable for both, is supposed to be a good part of marriage" - Sheila

"The root of the problem with porn is objectification. It's saying I get to use someone else for my gratification. I get to see them as only body parts. Whereas healthy sex is not about using someone for your gratification, it's about truly knowing someone." - Sheila

"Sex and porn are polar opposites. They're not substitutes for one another" - Sheila

"This message that his porn use is your fault is simply not true" - Sheila

"50% of married evangelical men use porn in some way" - Sheila

"83% of men under 30 have used porn at some point in their lives" - Sheila