Girls Night #120: Stop Beating Yourself Up: How to Keep Guilt From Running Your Life
IN THIS PODCAST EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:
Why guilt is such a struggle for women in particular
How to figure out when guilt is pointing us to something real — something we need to fix, apologize for, or do differently next time — and how to know when we’re experiencing false guilt
How false guilt starts to run our lives and why that’s so detrimental
Practical steps we can take to free ourselves from this harmful pattern of guilt in our lives
(You can also listen right here!👇)
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night!
I’m so excited about today’s episode, because if you’re anything like me, you’re no stranger to the feeling of guilt. Sometimes it’s over something real. You said something you shouldn't have, or you meant to do something and you didn’t. Guilt is a totally normal feeling in situations like that.
But, again, if you’re anything like me, guilt tends to spill out of those circumstances and into all kinds of corners of your life — beating you up as you feel like you’re somehow too much and not enough all at the very same time.
Often I feel the most guilt when I do something I know is right — setting boundaries, saying an important, “No,” or speaking up for myself.
And that feeling of guilt keeps me up at night! Anyone else?
That’s why I’m so excited about today’s episode.
Today we’re talking to my new friend Valorie Burton, and I’m telling you now, you are going to LOVE her.
Valorie is a national bestselling author of 13 books, an international speaker, and a life strategist. Her latest book is called, Let Go of the Guilt, so she’s our go-to person for this topic.
Valorie is going to help us decode our guilt — how to know when our guilt is pointing us to something we need to fix or apologize for. And how to know when we’re experiencing false guilt — beating ourselves up when we absolutely did not do anything wrong.
And then here’s my favorite part. After she helps us figure out the difference, she’s going to help us stop beating ourselves up — how to keep guilt from running our lives.
I can’t wait for you to hear from her.
PIN ME!
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Steph’s book, The Lipstick Gospel (here’s a paperback copy and here’s a free digital download!)
Steph’s prayer journal, The Between Places
Authentic guilt - You actually have done something wrong — something you need to fix, or apologize for
False guilt - You feel like you’ve done something wrong when you really haven’t
Should is a tell-tale guilt word
Verse Mentioned:
“The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:31
Quotes Mentioned:
"Our inner dialogue can be so brutal" - Stephanie
"So often we don't question our thoughts, we don't take them captive" - Valorie
“God wired us to feel guilt, it's not all bad” - Valorie
"If your standards are so high, you're never going to meet them, you're always going to feel guilty" -Valorie
"Our expectations are driven by our values" - Valorie
"Lowering expectations actually increases happiness" - Valorie (based off study)
"If your expectations are unrealistic...then change them!" - Valorie
“Why not set yourself up for joy?” - Valorie
“Positive emotion expands your minds ability to see options” - Valorie
“Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend” - Valorie
“Over-responsibility is when you are doing things that other people can and should be doing” - Valorie
"Until you accept and embrace the unique life God created for you, you'll feel guilty for not living the life you think others expect of you" - Valorie
“You cannot accept and embrace the unique life God created you for if you don't truly believe God created you for a purpose. A purpose that may look different from those around you” - Valorie
CONNECT WITH VALORIE:
Website // Instagram // Facebook
CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE
WE LOVE OUR SPONSORS!
Our sponsor for today’s episode is Uncommon Goods. To get 15% off your first gift, go to Uncommongoods.com/girlsnight. Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer!
WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT
here’s another resource I know you’ll love!
Every Single Moment
A 100-day prayer journal to help you savor the present and prepare for the future!