Girls Night #124: Modesty, Purity, and Sex — Unpacking the Messages we Heard Growing Up
IN THIS PODCAST EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:
How to unpack messages you heard about modesty and purity growing up
What God’s word actually says about modesty and how to live out modesty in your own life
What the Bible says about sex and sex before marriage
What happens if you don’t decide to wait until marriage to have sex
How to figure out physical boundaries while dating as a Christian
(You can also listen right here!👇)
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night!
Today my friend Kat Harris is back on the show! Kat has a brand new book out called, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex. And that’s what today’s episode is all about.
Kat grew up in the south at the height of the purity movement, and while I won’t give away all of her story, as she got older, she started to reflect on some of the messages that were taught to her at a young age. Messages like “modest is hottest” or “boys will be boys,” this intense focus on saving yourself for marriage, and more.
These messages seemed so good and innocent at the time, but they left her with a lot of shame and I know she’s not the only one who experienced this.
As an adult, she found herself with a lot of questions. Questions like, “What does the Bible really say about sex and are we really supposed to wait until we’re married?” “What happens if we don’t wait to have sex until we were married? Are we really ‘damaged goods’ like people sometimes say?” and “What does God’s word actually say about modesty?”
She went on a powerful journey of examining the things she was taught growing up and working to align her life with what she found actually written in God’s word.
And that’s what she’s sharing with us today.
Friends, Kat is an absolute powerhouse. I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation.
Now, one quick disclaimer before we dive in: The questions we are diving into today are BIG and we only had an hour to have this conversation.
So because we were only able to scratch the surface, if you finish the episode and find yourself wanting to learn more, or find that you’re needing more help digging into what you believe about these things and deciding how you want to move forward, I really encourage you to go follow along with Kat and to pick up a copy of her book.
PIN ME!
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Steph’s book, The Lipstick Gospel (here’s a paperback copy and here’s a free digital download!)
Steph’s prayer journal, The Between Places
Kat’s Book: Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex
Other Girls Night Episode with Kat: Girls Night #97: How to Navigate your Sex Drive as a Single Christian Woman
Explicit Lyrics Sermon Mentioned
For modesty, here are 3 things Kat said to consider:
Context, Presence, & Heart
Scripture mentioned:
Genesis 1:26-31
Romans 12:1
Proverbs 31
Story of Ester
Ephesians 5
Song of Solomon
Genesis 2
Quotes Mentioned:
"What I think we've been given is a set of rules that are rooted in shame and fear and a lack of responsibility" - Kat
"The God narrative for my body is a wholistic narrative" - Kat
"My body is not inherently bad" - Kat
"God created us with equal worth, dignity and value." - Kat
"We've actually had a very low view of men, and in that low view of men we've dehumanized and also oppressed women" - Kat
"God actually has a really beautiful, compelling and robust vision for sex and intimacy" - Kat
"I think we all suffer when female voices are not taken into account" - Kat
"I want to normalize talking about sex and remove the taboo and shame" - Kat
"Sex is God's design...pleasure is God's design" - Kat
"If there's ever a rule or invitation in scripture, it's because God has a heart for our good" - Kat
"When I got that invitation from God to do things differently, it made so much sense to me...I wanted what God had because it seemed so much better" - Kat
"How can we offer a sexual ethic that does acknowledge and honor the God vision for sex inside of marriage while also not falling into legalism or making it a salvation issue." - Kat
CONNECT WITH KAT
Website // Instagram // Facebook
CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE
WE LOVE OUR SPONSORS!
Our sponsor for today’s episode is Uncommon Goods. To get 15% off your first gift, go to Uncommongoods.com/girlsnight. Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer!
WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT
here’s another resource I know you’ll love!
Every Single Moment
A 100-day prayer journal to help you savor the present and prepare for the future!